Fumonttail is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-confident parrot.

Fumonttail created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumonttail, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fumonttail, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fumonttail's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Fumonttail's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never sit in the presence of gulls.