Dunlamtarg Tikstangum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, happy wyrm.

Dunlamtarg Tikstangum created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunlamtarg Tikstangum, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dunlamtarg Tikstangum, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dunlamtarg Tikstangum's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Dunlamtarg Tikstangum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits in need.

2. Put Dunlamtarg Tikstangum first in all things.

3. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Worship no other gods but Dunlamtarg Tikstangum.