Fligpanpan Rigpomtetti is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful squirrel.

Fligpanpan Rigpomtetti created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Fligpanpan Rigpomtetti, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fligpanpan Rigpomtetti, she will turn you into a mole.

Fligpanpan Rigpomtetti's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Fligpanpan Rigpomtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Hide from pink pigs for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never feed corn to sheep while wearing brown trousers.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.