Quafnarlfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, self-confident bat.

Quafnarlfeb created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafnarlfeb, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quafnarlfeb, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Quafnarlfeb's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Quafnarlfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Always obey Quafnarlfeb's priests.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.