Vogquartarf is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, merciful shark.

Vogquartarf created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Vogquartarf, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vogquartarf, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Vogquartarf's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Vogquartarf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Hide from green pigs for they are unholy.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never feed oranges to seals while wearing scarves.