Stanbigbess is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, moody guinea pig.

Stanbigbess created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanbigbess, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stanbigbess, he will send minions to preach to you.

Stanbigbess' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Stanbigbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Feed all hungry whales.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.