Quafgetmip Flanbenwanmap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident meerkat.

Quafgetmip Flanbenwanmap created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafgetmip Flanbenwanmap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quafgetmip Flanbenwanmap, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Quafgetmip Flanbenwanmap's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Quafgetmip Flanbenwanmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near badgers while wearing red boots and balancing nine lead spheres on your head.

3. Feed all hungry squirrels.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.