Rulbogpark Vadbatbig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, bad-tempered seal.

Rulbogpark Vadbatbig created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulbogpark Vadbatbig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rulbogpark Vadbatbig, she will be very sad.

Rulbogpark Vadbatbig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Rulbogpark Vadbatbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never mention frogs.

5. Do not shave your face.