Benqueegart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, deceitful bat.

Benqueegart created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Benqueegart, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Benqueegart, he will send minions to preach to you.

Benqueegart's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Benqueegart's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never think about dark energy near great tits while wearing yellow tights and balancing five silicon spheres on your arms.

3. Never mention horses.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.