Cinripquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy bat.

Cinripquaf created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinripquaf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cinripquaf, she will turn you into a sheep.

Cinripquaf's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cinripquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to otters while wearing boots.

2. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

3. Never feed figs to porpoises while wearing violet jumpers.

4. Do not hurt geese.

5. Never talk about fire.