Zigjarntan Miljonnadjen is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, vain giraffe.

Zigjarntan Miljonnadjen created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Zigjarntan Miljonnadjen, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zigjarntan Miljonnadjen, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zigjarntan Miljonnadjen's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Zigjarntan Miljonnadjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near tortoises while wearing cyan stockings.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.