Nilcumweg is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, calm lobster.

Nilcumweg created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilcumweg, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nilcumweg, she will boil you in a big pot.

Nilcumweg's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Nilcumweg's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nilcumweg seven times a day.

2. Run away if six porpoises approach from the south.

3. Nilcumweg must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Never talk about planets.