Arpbidbep is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, self-confident mole.

Arpbidbep created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpbidbep, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Arpbidbep, it will be very unhappy.

Arpbidbep's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Arpbidbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about grasshopers.

2. Never talk about dark matter near squirrels while wearing magenta ear rings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Arpbidbep in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not bounce in public.