Larnfarnbot is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, deceitful wyrm.

Larnfarnbot created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnfarnbot, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larnfarnbot, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Larnfarnbot's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Larnfarnbot's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six squirrels approach from the north.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Larnfarnbot must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.