Gattarpwod is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, wise goat.

Gattarpwod created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gattarpwod, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gattarpwod, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Gattarpwod's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gattarpwod's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gattarpwod.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.