Tamlogcar is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish octopus.

Tamlogcar created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamlogcar, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tamlogcar, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tamlogcar's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tamlogcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near ducks while wearing white shoes and balancing four copper spheres on your legs.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

4. Never feed oranges to great tits while wearing tights.

5. Fast once a month.