Metdimton is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, selfish mink.

Metdimton created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Metdimton, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Metdimton, she will turn you into a worm.

Metdimton's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Metdimton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three great tits in a large pit.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Metdimton.

4. Hide from red pigs for they are unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.