Funstikpan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, smart clam.

Funstikpan created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Funstikpan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Funstikpan, she will manifest in front of you.

Funstikpan's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Funstikpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention geese.

2. Always help sick pigs.

3. Do not take Funstikpan's name in vain.

4. Run away if six foxes approach from the north.

5. You must love Funstikpan.