Gup Paspigmif Jonquatbog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, kind frog.

Gup Paspigmif Jonquatbog created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gup Paspigmif Jonquatbog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gup Paspigmif Jonquatbog, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gup Paspigmif Jonquatbog's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gup Paspigmif Jonquatbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Never think ill of sick dogs.

5. Frogs are not to be trusted.