Lakdanfig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, clever wolf.

Lakdanfig created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakdanfig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lakdanfig, she will turn you into a tree.

Lakdanfig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Lakdanfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Never mention goats.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never wear skirts.

5. Do not stand on grass.