Dimfobflam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental alligator.

Dimfobflam created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimfobflam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dimfobflam, she will turn you into a sheep.

Dimfobflam's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Dimfobflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near monkeys while wearing purple tights.

2. Never wear magenta jumpers.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Never think about special relativity.