Bembadnul is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, moody deer.

Bembadnul created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bembadnul, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bembadnul, she will turn you into a goat.

Bembadnul's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bembadnul's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve voles for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never chant near frogs.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.