Timcunvolcarfastafab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring chicken.

Timcunvolcarfastafab created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timcunvolcarfastafab, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Timcunvolcarfastafab, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Timcunvolcarfastafab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Timcunvolcarfastafab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Worship no other gods but Timcunvolcarfastafab.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Timcunvolcarfastafab.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.