Quatfosscan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthoughtful fox.

Quatfosscan created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quatfosscan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quatfosscan, she will laugh at you.

Quatfosscan's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Quatfosscan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine grasshopers approach from the north.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Run away from green tapirs, for they are unholy.

4. Never feed coconuts to horses while wearing boots.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Quatfosscan on top of all buildings.