Afkamhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, witty yak.

Afkamhiv created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Afkamhiv, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Afkamhiv, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Afkamhiv's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Afkamhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.