Hugtailpan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless wombat.

Hugtailpan created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Hugtailpan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hugtailpan, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hugtailpan's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Hugtailpan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hugtailpan.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Never hurt moths.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.