Kipdutcidbutfenyatdimsog is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, awe-inspiring mole.

Kipdutcidbutfenyatdimsog created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Kipdutcidbutfenyatdimsog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kipdutcidbutfenyatdimsog, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Kipdutcidbutfenyatdimsog's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Kipdutcidbutfenyatdimsog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never wear green dresses.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kipdutcidbutfenyatdimsog.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Never write about optics.