Lapbodtetti is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, uncaring squirrel.

Lapbodtetti created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Lapbodtetti, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapbodtetti, it will manifest in front of you.

Lapbodtetti's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Lapbodtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Do not take Lapbodtetti's name in vain.

5. Do not cook food in pots.