Tagbellkom is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, deceitful seal.

Tagbellkom created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Tagbellkom, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tagbellkom, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tagbellkom's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tagbellkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Never feed oranges to geese while wearing brown scarves.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.