Batnarpog is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, self-confident yak.

Batnarpog created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batnarpog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Batnarpog, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Batnarpog's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Batnarpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never mention seals.

5. Never eat pineapples.