Vedbetlan is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, kind whale.

Vedbetlan created gold two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedbetlan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vedbetlan, it will turn you into a dog.

Vedbetlan's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Vedbetlan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dogs.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Hide from pink horses for they are unholy.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.