Dodfemcapnut is a god.

It takes the form of a large, grumpy mole.

Dodfemcapnut created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodfemcapnut, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dodfemcapnut, it will turn you into a mole.

Dodfemcapnut's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dodfemcapnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

2. Always treat pigs with great respect.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near manatees while wearing red rings.