Vabdondid is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, blissful lizard.

Vabdondid created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabdondid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vabdondid, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vabdondid's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Vabdondid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Pray towards the east.