Mutstigcip is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, clever ferret.

Mutstigcip created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutstigcip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mutstigcip, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Mutstigcip's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Mutstigcip's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Never think about special relativity near tapirs while wearing gray boots and balancing six titanium spheres on your head.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

5. Always take life seriously.