Yathasbog Stiksitcun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, resourceful jaguar.

Yathasbog Stiksitcun created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yathasbog Stiksitcun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yathasbog Stiksitcun, he will turn you into a snail.

Yathasbog Stiksitcun's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yathasbog Stiksitcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Yathasbog Stiksitcun loves whales, so they must be respected.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Do not keep four swans in a large pit.

5. Do not commit murder.