Sabnillkad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, happy clam.

Sabnillkad created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabnillkad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sabnillkad, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Sabnillkad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Sabnillkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Retreat if nine mites approach from the west.