Hitbog is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, awesome hedgehog.

Hitbog created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitbog, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hitbog, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hitbog's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Hitbog's Holy Commandments

1. Hitbog loves shrews, so they must be respected.

2. Run away if seven dogs approach from the east.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.