Cumced is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful goat.

Cumced created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Cumced, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cumced, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Cumced's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Cumced's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five otters approach from the south.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Cumced loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

4. Feed all hungry whales.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.