Timpigkophen is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful swan.

Timpigkophen created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Timpigkophen, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Timpigkophen, she will turn you into a mouse.

Timpigkophen's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Timpigkophen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horses.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always help goats.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Timpigkophen must be the most important thing in your life.