Yarpladquim is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, kind lion.

Yarpladquim created the Sun four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpladquim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarpladquim, he will make you grow a tail.

Yarpladquim's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Yarpladquim's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarpladquim.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.