Dutmipjen is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable octopus.

Dutmipjen created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutmipjen, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dutmipjen, it will be very unhappy.

Dutmipjen's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Dutmipjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Feed all hungry porpoises.