Hapyakloop is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, self-confident ant.

Hapyakloop created a strange quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Hapyakloop, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hapyakloop, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hapyakloop's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Hapyakloop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven iron sculptures of Hapyakloop on top of important buildings.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Run away from yellow tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hapyakloop.