Gidtomfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, uncaring penguin.

Gidtomfarn created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidtomfarn, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gidtomfarn, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gidtomfarn's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gidtomfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

2. Never mention bats.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.