Sidpagweg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, kind mole.

Sidpagweg created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidpagweg, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sidpagweg, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sidpagweg's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Sidpagweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to geese while wearing scarves.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.