Metvandit is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, vain unicorn.

Metvandit created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Metvandit, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Metvandit, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Metvandit's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Metvandit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Do not kill birds.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Metvandit loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Never look at galaxies.