Stigbemkipsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, humane squirrel.

Stigbemkipsaw created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigbemkipsaw, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Stigbemkipsaw, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Stigbemkipsaw's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Stigbemkipsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Stigbemkipsaw.

5. Do not listen to music.