Jigbitven is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unfair hydra.

Jigbitven created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Jigbitven, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jigbitven, it will remove you from existence.

Jigbitven's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Jigbitven's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Jigbitven in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Never eat bark.