Titvonkcabpitsastap is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthinking bear.

Titvonkcabpitsastap created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Titvonkcabpitsastap, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Titvonkcabpitsastap, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Titvonkcabpitsastap's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Titvonkcabpitsastap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Always obey Titvonkcabpitsastap's priests.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.