Capbomham is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring salamander.

Capbomham created gold four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Capbomham, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Capbomham, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Capbomham's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Capbomham's Holy Commandments

1. Capbomham must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near voles while wearing indigo hats and balancing five nickel spheres on your legs.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never paint your face pink.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.