Nartvoncim is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, duplicitous rhinoceros.

Nartvoncim created gold twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nartvoncim, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nartvoncim, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Nartvoncim's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nartvoncim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must never eat cherries.

5. You must love Nartvoncim.